My Roses..

Isn't it beautiful to listen to this song in the middle of the night ?
Under the Blue Moon light, there is a rose with light purple petals, a little pinkish..
reminds me of your face in my memories..

 " Blue Moon " You are so beautiful under the moonlight..

 

"～月光～　"

ベートーベン、ピアノ・ソナタ第14番作品２７－２より、第一楽章

" Clair de lune ～月の光～ " 
 Debbysy
( * Irish Harp Version )

When the Sun crosses the Moon.. on the opposite side of the universe.

I know now we can only meet when the Sun crosses the Moon,
we live on the opposite side, even though our physical distance is close,
we are just like living on the opposite side of the Universe..

You might be so close, but I cannot touch it..
because we are invisible to each others..

When the Sun goes down, you appear from the opposite side,
when the Moon is in the same sky, the sunshine is just too bright and it blinds my eyes, you are invisible to me..

You're too beautiful in the sky in the middle of the night,I know, while I'm sleeping on the opposite side of the Earth ..
I will never see your beauty again..

We cannot see each others even though we are in the same sky,
or I just can't see it..

Blue Moon, you are too beautiful under the moon light..

When will the Sun meets the Moon next time ?..

Blue moon .. with a white weeping rabbit, shining with a blue light..

Blue Moon shines on you.. with a white rabbit inside

”　Blue Moon shines on you,
in the middle of the night,
it shines through your memories inside of you,
in which you thought, you forget completely,
the memories inside which have been sleeping for ages.

A weeping white rabbit sits under the full Blue Moon,
shining like as if it has its own light from inside,
now shining with blue moon light,
a weeping baby rabbit who has been lonely and alone inside you,
abandoned by his own mother,
now he's not alone, he has a company..

memories are blue.. deep sorrow inside shining through the blue moon light..
just flows towards the moon light into the air
I just watch it goes by with my weeping rabbit doll
with all the images behind me..

Blue moon .. with a white weeping rabbit, shining with a blue light..


碧い月の光を浴びて
白い小ウサギが独り泣いている
ひとり母親を探している
「哀しいよ。。」と啼いていた
私の中で

誰も長い間”その”声を聴こうともせず
ずっと一人ぼっちで

真夜中の月の光に照らされて
想い出が照らし出される・・
ウサギは月の光を浴びて蒼白く発光している
まるで自分の中から生まれてくる光のように
碧い月輪の中にボンヤリと輝き出す

私は自分の中にうずくまり、
蒼い月光に照らし出された
その中からあふれ出してくるその記憶の断片をじっと眺めている

もう一人ぼっちではなくなった泣きはらして
目の赤くなった小ウサギを胸に慰めて・・
その「哀しみ」をじっと感じながら・・　”

"　Quasi una fantasia　～月光～　"

ベートーベン、ピアノ・ソナタ第14番作品２７－２より、第一楽章

Am I just a " Girl, Interrupted " ?

" Have you ever confused a dream with life ? 

現実と夢の狭間がなくなる感じがしたことがある？

Or stolen something when you have the cash ?

お金を持ってるのに、万引きしたり

Have you ever been blue ?

落ち込んだり

Or thought your train moving while sitting still ?

じっと座っているにもかかわらず、電車が動いているように想ったり

Maybe I was just crazy..

わたしはただ頭がおかしいかったのかもしれない。。

Maybe it was the 60s（80ｓ）..

それは60（80）年代だったせいなのかもしれない。。

Maybe I'm just a girl, interrupted..

それとも私はただ空想壁のある障害を持った”つまずいてしまった”女の子なのかもしれない・・　"

（from " Girl, Interrupted "映画「17歳のカルテ」より　

* with my own translation in Japanese. ）

Simon & Garfunkel "Bookends"

Slowly fades away.. ~ into my " Crystal Days "..~

Slowly fades away...
and it starts moving..
"Your" scenery becomes mine.
Your words just invite me to my past,
the past which never really appeared but now it is clearly seen..

Scenery in me becomes yours, into your stories..
then I start rewinding my story with your songs, with my own words..

" Where am I now ? "

" In the deep woods of the people who knows tomorrow.. "
You said with your words, inviting into deep in the unknown forest inside of me.

" Let me know where to go.."

Then I follow your indication .. without fear.. - Cause I know who you are..-


現実と幻想の狭間がなくなる時
”あなた”は自分の詞で、わたしを”誘う”
”あなた”の森の中に、わたしは呼びこまれる
”答えは明日を知る者の森の中にある・・”と。
そして私は”旅”を始める
自分の中にある”森”の中へ
そして”あなた”に道先案内を頼む
”あなた”の事は知っているから、ちょっと迷っても怖くないと・・
一緒について来て貰えるように、その曲を携えながら・・

私の中にある”森”の奥深くへと・・Slowly fades away.. with that song..

Into my "Ｃｈｒｙｓｔａｌ　Ｄａｙｓ"..

”途切れたままの記憶の欠片”を探しに行っている”わたし”に。。

I'm just on the way to collect pieces of me in which I have left behind within my memories..

(* Original words in Japanese for this song by "Gazelle"from a Japanese band,called "Asylum", the one I use to listen when I was at teen age..

- Now I put the English translation of this song, because I believe his original words are so beautiful, and I want to express in English, too. -

Original lylics:

”貴方はまだ波間で眠る光
通り掛る想い出は夢の途中

貴方の見た想い出は昨日の彼方
明日を知る者達の森の中

 小さな白い手を差し延べて
宙に舞う悲しみは貴方の
途切れたままの記憶の欠片
貴方はまだ旅の途中...”

 

Translation with my own interpretation..

" You are only just a light which sleeps in between waves.

Memories which pass by is in the middle of the dream.

Your memories which were seen is far beyond yesterday.

In the middle of the woods of people who know tomorrow.

Reaching out your small white hands,

The sorrow floating in space is

a piece of your memories which have been broken up.

You are still in the middle of your journey.. ")

-　I sing along this song with my own translation, I guess, it works :)　-

"All the stories here are dedicated to my "Crystal Days", 

as fragile as Crystal inside my infancy and adolescence"

Time goes back and forward..

Time goes back and forward inside of me..
The scenery jumps into my past holding to the presence.

I don't know if I'm crazy, or just, it happens to be in me..
However, "It"begun just like this..

It slowly fades away, and the scenery in the presence turns into my "Past".
and the presence becomes my past which existed certainly 25 years ago.
I start hearing your voice and seeing your appearance at the same place we met just about 25 years ago.. in Tennoji, at the staircase of the walking bridge which has been renewed and it fades away in the past..

In the spring wind, makes me feel like as if I was there.. I can feel the slight ephemeral spring smell in the air,, just like 25 years ago..

A tender spring breeze touches my cheek, lingering my ears and going through me gently..

Now I'm in the spring haze, with you, on the bed of cherry blossom petals, and the petals were flowing around us as if it was a gentle spring 花吹雪。

I know you are not there any more, however we spent a night and feel happily on the bed, smiling at each others, in the tender morning light..

Then I slowly wake up.. within my spring dream

- I know we can only meet when the Sun crosses the Moon, we live on the opposite side, even the physical distance is so close.. We can't see each others in real world any more.. -

1st of April 2013.. ”なにか”がまた始まる、”わたしの中”で・・

また今度は4月1日からとても”不思議”な夢に纏わりつかれ、そのthoughtが自分から離れなくなってしまった。

時は逆流する、ものすごい速さで、そしてそれは自分のコントロールできる速さではなく、25年前の”私とあなた” に大逆流して、出逢った”その日”からまたその”物語り”は紡ぎ直される・・
そしていつしか”現実”はその場所に行った時からその時の”場面”と重なって、再び私達は”出逢う”のだけど、いつしかそれは、”私とあなた”の両方の感情が初めて入り交ざり、”本当にこれは私なのか？”どうかわからない程、自分の感情がまるで消えていくかのように、まったく昔と同じ場面なのに、あなたの気持ちのようなものが入って来る・・　そしてその時の”音楽”が流れてきて、まるで私の聴いてことない、もしくは今までなんとも想わなかった”音楽”が流れ出して、私の中でその歌詞を唄いながら、”泣いている”のだ。　「私は一体誰なの？」って。支配された気持ちが自分のものではないことを、また再度確認しながら、その”気持ち”と自分の気持ちを分けて考えるようにしたら、かなり楽になった。

まるで「confession」のように、”彼”の気持ちを子守唄のように聴くことにしたら、大分と楽になって来た、「ああ、そうか、そうだったのか・・」って。ごめん、今まで一度もそんな事考えたことなくて・・あなた側の気持ちなんて・・

”さくら”の舞う季節の中で、わたし達はまた再び夢の中で出逢った・・

”それ”は、春の儚い夢となり、私の中で蠢き始める・・

そしていつしか”物語り”は再びまた始まった・・”わたしの中”で　”過去”を見直しながら。。